I was informed yesterday, that it appears that 3.0 is abandoned, but the devs are now working on another version (2.4 I believe) I looked at sourceforge, and the devs are on a roll.
come to speak of bzflag, it just seemed dull the last two days...
6 days now... I can't let my gaurd down. he's waiting, he wants me to fall in again. I won the battle, but the war's just begun. I Can't lose... not now.
I was trapped with no end in sight
it had me in it's grasp
with no hope to fight it.
for I was in my weakest place
and beginning to be overwhelmed
and this was something that I would not face
and so I gave it up to God
and soon I made it through
filled with him I knew what to do
I went after It's symbol
For an hour I was being torn inside
I thank the Lord, that he got me through
For I was able to accomplish my goal
The symbol is now gone.
Destroyed in the place where I was weakest
It will never be the same.
But I still have a long way to go
I feel a change long overdue, I feel much different then I did. I'm on fire. There comes a time when we all are faced with a situation like mine, and we have to choose between God, and him. I chose God, and did not falter. Hope, is what I have once again.
But my biggest fear is that some may not forgive me for what I've done, which is why I'm very reluctant to share what I did, or the fact I did something at all. Plus, I'm not friends with many people, not closely at least. (less then 5). And the only one I would completely trust I haven't seen in over 7 years! Because of my lack of friends I don't want to lose them, or be judged... But nothing was worse then the guilt, and shame I have towards myself. It doesn't help when you kept thinking about your struggle with this constantly for over a year. It's gradually worn me down. It's why I'm so energetic, and happy now.
Cheers, Chris
16 May 2011
15 May 2011
Pets
Here's pictures of pets
Not pictured: Smokey
Age: 16
Status: Deseased
Cause: Kidney failure
Date of death: Friday of the week of September 11 2001
Notes: He was the first cat that I lost, the only one we lost before we lived where we are currently living, which we moved to when I was 10 (in June of that year, so it was 2003). I think we got him because while the construction of the house we used to live in, his mother was gaurding them, and I'm not sure what happened, but someone shot her I think, and so my parents took smokey, and I believe some others took his siblings in. He and I had our difficulties, but he tolerated me. My parents where especially displeased with me when I cut his whiskers off, when I was 6 years old. (if not 6 then very young). I didn't know any better, I just thought, and I remember basically thinking "his whiskers look very long, and look like they need cut... ... I should cut them". I never did that again, after my parents told me why I shouldn't/ why they didn't need to be cut. heh oops on my part, that's for sure :)
Name: Cinnamon
Age: 17-19
Status: Deceased
Cause: Kidney failure
Date of death: September 2005
Notes: She was my favorite cat, even though she only stayed in the basement. A loving cat, who loved everyone. I My parents got her, after seeing smokey looking lonely, but I don't know what the date was. She was strong to the end, not showing her bad state, until one day I found her behind the box she slept in, wandering behind it in a circle, not apprearing to know. We took her to the vet, but the next day she was gone. it hit me a bit hard when she died. But, another cat has taken the role of being my favorite, and maybe even more so in some regards.
Name: Jewlie
Age: Approx. 6
Statues: Deceased
Cause: Euthanized
Date of death: Sept. 2007 perhaps? 2008?
Notes: My mom encountered jewlie when she was unloading grocery bags from her car, and jewlie stuck here head under my mom's arm. Later after 2 weeks we adopted her. We had her for 2 years. She was the only doh we ever had, and I think my prejudiced thinking of dogs came out, in the form of non appriciation. This I would learn two years later in september. Jewlie broke her leg, and the vet found that she had bone cancer spread all throughout her body. weighing the options, and great lack of chances of surgical success combined with the outcome, we had her euthonize. She was in a great ammount of pain due to the broken leg/ cancer. She had to be carried into our car on her bed, when we originally took her to the vet. I shed some tears due to the fact I realized I hadn't appriciated the time with her, and knew I couldn't get it back. I felt shame at myself, but wuth Cinnamon, I did shed more tears, but I knew I had relatively appriciated my time with her.
This is hope, age 9. We got her a little after tiger. We didn't actually plan to get a cat with tiger. We were visiting lake hope, and one of my parents was putting something in the dumpster, and saw hope, we took her with us when we left. That's why she's named hope. Spayed, and frequently needs medication for the cat equivalent of the sniffles.
This is our cat tiger. at least 9 years old. We got him a little after the week of Sep. 11 2001.
His tail is a little strange, I think I remember something about his tail, possibly being ran over, or something when He was young. (before we got him). Recently suffered seizures in which he appeared conscious throughout. He's on some anti-seizure medication. He's a bit of a chuncky cat, but I don't think he weighs the most. I believe you can telll why he's named tiger. ;)
Neutered, and picked out by my parents.
This is Sneaky, he's around 16 years old. My parents got heim a few months after adopting me, which took a year and half but that's a story for a different time. My mom took, me and planned on getting a goldfish, and came home with Sneaky. He's a pretty big goldfish if I do say so myself ;)
He's thinning I believe, which is most likely a sign of a progression of kidney disease.
The oldest cat we have right now. he's neutered as well.
This Patch, age 5-6. We got him after my mom's knee surgery. We actually waited in a park, until cat welfare opened, and then we went to get a cat. Going was my dad's idea, I'm guessing. Patch was the only cat I picked out, but my parent named him. He's my favorite cat. He frequently sits in the chair next to me when I'm using the computer, which he's doing right now. *Chris looks at the chair*. Right now he appears to be resting. He's very loyal as my dad says which is very unusual for a cat. I actually switched sleeping spot over the course of a year before, and he would sleep on the bed I was, for a bit (not sure how long he stayed after I fell asleep). Possibly weighs the most, due to his muscular build. He's the dominant cat in our house. *chris leans back and pets patch after drinking some chocolate milk* Neutered. I also call him patchy, and "ps-ps" when I call him (like pst, but without a t at the end).
This is Mai, approx. 5 years old. We got them in September '05. We were just going to get her "Ms. Bigeyes, as she looked then, but then we saw her brother, who was about to be seperated from his last sibling, Mai. So, I said something, and ended up getting him, socks as well. Picked out by my parent/named by them. She was named after the US woman soccer player Mai Hamm, due to her appearance playing with ping pong balls, knocking it back and forth. Spayed, and doesn't like me.
Socks, Mai's brother, around 5 years old. Named/basically picked by my parents. Quite shy, and skiddish avoiding any floor but the basement. He is very difficult to find when he's not in his usually (openly known) location. When I was looking to take his picture he wasn't there, so I was going back upstairs after failing to find him (I quickly looked after we wasn't in one of these locations), and I just saw him sitting behind this object. Neutered, and named socks because sneakers was already taken.
I know one thing...
I have a soft spot for little kittens.
As a side note I'm beginning to read a book called "Join the Club" by Tina Rosenberg
I'm not sure of her religious views though. I think the book was released in March of this year.
It's about how the use of peer pressure can change the world, and break bad habits, even those habits people know are self-desructive, but still won't stop. Which they don't stop, no matter how much information they have.
Not pictured: Smokey
Age: 16
Status: Deseased
Cause: Kidney failure
Date of death: Friday of the week of September 11 2001
Notes: He was the first cat that I lost, the only one we lost before we lived where we are currently living, which we moved to when I was 10 (in June of that year, so it was 2003). I think we got him because while the construction of the house we used to live in, his mother was gaurding them, and I'm not sure what happened, but someone shot her I think, and so my parents took smokey, and I believe some others took his siblings in. He and I had our difficulties, but he tolerated me. My parents where especially displeased with me when I cut his whiskers off, when I was 6 years old. (if not 6 then very young). I didn't know any better, I just thought, and I remember basically thinking "his whiskers look very long, and look like they need cut... ... I should cut them". I never did that again, after my parents told me why I shouldn't/ why they didn't need to be cut. heh oops on my part, that's for sure :)
Name: Cinnamon
Age: 17-19
Status: Deceased
Cause: Kidney failure
Date of death: September 2005
Notes: She was my favorite cat, even though she only stayed in the basement. A loving cat, who loved everyone. I My parents got her, after seeing smokey looking lonely, but I don't know what the date was. She was strong to the end, not showing her bad state, until one day I found her behind the box she slept in, wandering behind it in a circle, not apprearing to know. We took her to the vet, but the next day she was gone. it hit me a bit hard when she died. But, another cat has taken the role of being my favorite, and maybe even more so in some regards.
Name: Jewlie
Age: Approx. 6
Statues: Deceased
Cause: Euthanized
Date of death: Sept. 2007 perhaps? 2008?
Notes: My mom encountered jewlie when she was unloading grocery bags from her car, and jewlie stuck here head under my mom's arm. Later after 2 weeks we adopted her. We had her for 2 years. She was the only doh we ever had, and I think my prejudiced thinking of dogs came out, in the form of non appriciation. This I would learn two years later in september. Jewlie broke her leg, and the vet found that she had bone cancer spread all throughout her body. weighing the options, and great lack of chances of surgical success combined with the outcome, we had her euthonize. She was in a great ammount of pain due to the broken leg/ cancer. She had to be carried into our car on her bed, when we originally took her to the vet. I shed some tears due to the fact I realized I hadn't appriciated the time with her, and knew I couldn't get it back. I felt shame at myself, but wuth Cinnamon, I did shed more tears, but I knew I had relatively appriciated my time with her.
This is hope, age 9. We got her a little after tiger. We didn't actually plan to get a cat with tiger. We were visiting lake hope, and one of my parents was putting something in the dumpster, and saw hope, we took her with us when we left. That's why she's named hope. Spayed, and frequently needs medication for the cat equivalent of the sniffles.
This is our cat tiger. at least 9 years old. We got him a little after the week of Sep. 11 2001.
His tail is a little strange, I think I remember something about his tail, possibly being ran over, or something when He was young. (before we got him). Recently suffered seizures in which he appeared conscious throughout. He's on some anti-seizure medication. He's a bit of a chuncky cat, but I don't think he weighs the most. I believe you can telll why he's named tiger. ;)
Neutered, and picked out by my parents.
This is Sneaky, he's around 16 years old. My parents got heim a few months after adopting me, which took a year and half but that's a story for a different time. My mom took, me and planned on getting a goldfish, and came home with Sneaky. He's a pretty big goldfish if I do say so myself ;)
He's thinning I believe, which is most likely a sign of a progression of kidney disease.
The oldest cat we have right now. he's neutered as well.
This Patch, age 5-6. We got him after my mom's knee surgery. We actually waited in a park, until cat welfare opened, and then we went to get a cat. Going was my dad's idea, I'm guessing. Patch was the only cat I picked out, but my parent named him. He's my favorite cat. He frequently sits in the chair next to me when I'm using the computer, which he's doing right now. *Chris looks at the chair*. Right now he appears to be resting. He's very loyal as my dad says which is very unusual for a cat. I actually switched sleeping spot over the course of a year before, and he would sleep on the bed I was, for a bit (not sure how long he stayed after I fell asleep). Possibly weighs the most, due to his muscular build. He's the dominant cat in our house. *chris leans back and pets patch after drinking some chocolate milk* Neutered. I also call him patchy, and "ps-ps" when I call him (like pst, but without a t at the end).
This is Mai, approx. 5 years old. We got them in September '05. We were just going to get her "Ms. Bigeyes, as she looked then, but then we saw her brother, who was about to be seperated from his last sibling, Mai. So, I said something, and ended up getting him, socks as well. Picked out by my parent/named by them. She was named after the US woman soccer player Mai Hamm, due to her appearance playing with ping pong balls, knocking it back and forth. Spayed, and doesn't like me.
Socks, Mai's brother, around 5 years old. Named/basically picked by my parents. Quite shy, and skiddish avoiding any floor but the basement. He is very difficult to find when he's not in his usually (openly known) location. When I was looking to take his picture he wasn't there, so I was going back upstairs after failing to find him (I quickly looked after we wasn't in one of these locations), and I just saw him sitting behind this object. Neutered, and named socks because sneakers was already taken.
I know one thing...
I have a soft spot for little kittens.
As a side note I'm beginning to read a book called "Join the Club" by Tina Rosenberg
I'm not sure of her religious views though. I think the book was released in March of this year.
It's about how the use of peer pressure can change the world, and break bad habits, even those habits people know are self-desructive, but still won't stop. Which they don't stop, no matter how much information they have.
14 May 2011
interests
Here's some things I like to do:
================================
-Chess (It's fun) there's a chess website I used called chess hotel
as Tanx
------------------
Games played 296
Won games 121
Lost games 171
Draws 4
Rank 1302
-------------------
Tanx is the username I started under, I got progressively better and then I made Chrile, so Tanx includes my learning process games, while chrile has less of those.
and my second username chrile
------------------
Games played 95
Won games 49
Lost games 44
Draws 2
Rank 1515
------------------
you start with a elo rank of 1200
chrile's is high because I play against players who have a higher elo then I do. so if I lose, I'll lose less points, but if I win I'll gain more, but the opponents will be more difficult
I personal enjoy chess, since it makes you think. Chess Hotel is an online chess game against other players, It's the best chess site I know of.
-puzzles (every once in awhile, I like the 3d ones more)
-cards (euchre, hearts, spades [those type of card games])
-origami (even put some in my grandma, and grandpa's caskets at their funerals, my way of saying goodbye)
-thinking (I like thinking out loud as well)
-figuring out how things work (I killed a computer once... my dad was not too happy about that *chris rubs the back of his neck, while smiling sheepishly*
=================================
I also kinda like the website http://www.sporcle.com/
It's a site with quizzes relating to science, math, geography, ect.
While my dad gets into the sports teams, I know how they do, but for the most part I never really watch them, much. I've sometimes wondered how much better the world would be if most people (those that do get into the sports teams) would cut the time they watch them in half.
The thing I really wish would be cut out of sports are those "fantasy teams", now that's a bad waste of time, and relatively pointless. I may watch say 4-8 complete football games a year (that includes college football as well). That's basically all I watch, somewhat with intrest. I really admired Ohio state football coach Jim tressel, but after the violations I'm not sure what to think. Before that I admired the Christian example he set.
I also know I don't particularly like the downtown city, way too many people, and cars, and hardly any nature at all. I love nature, his creation is so much better then whatever we try to replace it with. That's why I love Lake hope, you have your family, and nature, and the tv, but we only used that at night, the rest of the time we were outside the cabin, enjoying nature. I loved every minute of it. I also enjoyed the car ride there, watching the land go by. Spring, and fall are the best times to go.
I could also see myself in the distant future living somewhere surrounded by nature... Now that would be great.
on a completely separate note I think Spring is the best season.
and even more random... I wonder when my praying mantises will hatch. I love them, they're so neat. Though raising one from nymph to adulthood can be tiresome. It can be difficult to get food for the little ones. I remember when I used to go into thorns to search for the eggsacks, that was fun... I still don't know what in the world possessed me to dress in a tank-top and shorts one year when I went to search for them. I always made sure I left at least four. This terrain was perfect for them so I could always count on many surviving to adulthood. I can't do this anymore due to the fact that this terrain was turned into storage... it made me sad, and a bit upset when I learned that a few years back, now I have to order them. This could be my last year raising them for awhile, and the last two years I've failed to raise one to adulthood. But, last year the mantid just failed his final molt, which was quite frustrating, but it happens. I've seen my share of funny praying mantis' though. I also got one to mate one time, and the male didn't get turned into lunch for the female. fortunately for him. I also got one to last until Christmas one year. It died the next day though.
as a side note: my eyes are continuing to lose their focus, and it's getting a bit annoying, and it's only 3:41 PM...
================================
-Chess (It's fun) there's a chess website I used called chess hotel
as Tanx
------------------
Games played 296
Won games 121
Lost games 171
Draws 4
Rank 1302
-------------------
Tanx is the username I started under, I got progressively better and then I made Chrile, so Tanx includes my learning process games, while chrile has less of those.
and my second username chrile
------------------
Games played 95
Won games 49
Lost games 44
Draws 2
Rank 1515
------------------
you start with a elo rank of 1200
chrile's is high because I play against players who have a higher elo then I do. so if I lose, I'll lose less points, but if I win I'll gain more, but the opponents will be more difficult
I personal enjoy chess, since it makes you think. Chess Hotel is an online chess game against other players, It's the best chess site I know of.
-puzzles (every once in awhile, I like the 3d ones more)
-cards (euchre, hearts, spades [those type of card games])
-origami (even put some in my grandma, and grandpa's caskets at their funerals, my way of saying goodbye)
-thinking (I like thinking out loud as well)
-figuring out how things work (I killed a computer once... my dad was not too happy about that *chris rubs the back of his neck, while smiling sheepishly*
=================================
I also kinda like the website http://www.sporcle.com/
It's a site with quizzes relating to science, math, geography, ect.
While my dad gets into the sports teams, I know how they do, but for the most part I never really watch them, much. I've sometimes wondered how much better the world would be if most people (those that do get into the sports teams) would cut the time they watch them in half.
The thing I really wish would be cut out of sports are those "fantasy teams", now that's a bad waste of time, and relatively pointless. I may watch say 4-8 complete football games a year (that includes college football as well). That's basically all I watch, somewhat with intrest. I really admired Ohio state football coach Jim tressel, but after the violations I'm not sure what to think. Before that I admired the Christian example he set.
I also know I don't particularly like the downtown city, way too many people, and cars, and hardly any nature at all. I love nature, his creation is so much better then whatever we try to replace it with. That's why I love Lake hope, you have your family, and nature, and the tv, but we only used that at night, the rest of the time we were outside the cabin, enjoying nature. I loved every minute of it. I also enjoyed the car ride there, watching the land go by. Spring, and fall are the best times to go.
I could also see myself in the distant future living somewhere surrounded by nature... Now that would be great.
on a completely separate note I think Spring is the best season.
and even more random... I wonder when my praying mantises will hatch. I love them, they're so neat. Though raising one from nymph to adulthood can be tiresome. It can be difficult to get food for the little ones. I remember when I used to go into thorns to search for the eggsacks, that was fun... I still don't know what in the world possessed me to dress in a tank-top and shorts one year when I went to search for them. I always made sure I left at least four. This terrain was perfect for them so I could always count on many surviving to adulthood. I can't do this anymore due to the fact that this terrain was turned into storage... it made me sad, and a bit upset when I learned that a few years back, now I have to order them. This could be my last year raising them for awhile, and the last two years I've failed to raise one to adulthood. But, last year the mantid just failed his final molt, which was quite frustrating, but it happens. I've seen my share of funny praying mantis' though. I also got one to mate one time, and the male didn't get turned into lunch for the female. fortunately for him. I also got one to last until Christmas one year. It died the next day though.
as a side note: my eyes are continuing to lose their focus, and it's getting a bit annoying, and it's only 3:41 PM...
May 13 A day I'll cherish
I'm not exactly ready to discuss what exactly happened from after I got a haircut until I played bzflag that night. I'll just say that I finally did what was right. Something I struggled with for over 2 years, and was easily trapped in. I survived my weakness, where I most commonly fall to it, and Thank The lord, I was able to destroy a huge part of it. If you knew what it was you wouldn't think it was that big, until you realize what I destroyed was it's physical symbol to me personally. It took one whole hour to destroy, and I even used that weak place to destroy it's symbol. It was the most grueling hour I've ever experienced. If I had not been praying/ reciting Eph. 6:10-13 I would have easily fallen when I was in my weak place. I've never been tempted like I was in that hour span, and there's no way I could survive it without God. I had to basically cry out to him much of the time, It's obvious to me the evil one was extremely determined to keep me trapped. Even though it's yet to be seen whether I can continue to resist it, it feels like this gigantic weight is gone, and even now I can still feel the holy spirit. I did what God told me to do, no matter what "he" used to try and stop me, including people, my want to just stop and play bzflag, doubt, the reason I fell for this to begin with, shame, and everything imaginable he didn't budge me. He can't trump the fact I was doing this because God wanted me to. Without this baggage (symbol) it's like it's gone, which makes it easier to resist, but I need to be aware that this could get me in trouble.
Eph 6:10-13 is a verse I actually just memorized on May 13 for bible (which I had to write May 13th as well. I procrastinated :)
here it is from memory, which should be very accurate after repeating so many times yesterday
"be strong in the Lord and his mighty power. Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the ruler, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after everything has been done, to stand"
This verse was perfect for what I went though in my time in the desert.(the event above.)
It made the Afterparty, so much more enjoyable, knowing that with God I had taken a Giant leap toward being Free! It was great! One of the best days of the year. I hope this was the end of it, the end of my biggest obstacle in my life so far. I hate what I did, but it's done, I can't change it, I have to move on, otherwise I could fall back to where I was.
Why am I writing this? Actually I don't feel comfortable writing this, but I think by finally telling someone, I can get over it, it's a step toward freedom, telling someone can relieve a lot from the soul. I feel it's right. and I feel like I did yesterday after I destoryed it, just by writing this. Plus what chance do I have when I'm the only one that knows this is a huge problem in my life (my parents know a little but I don't think they realize how bad it really is). So basically No One knows it's as bad as I'm writing here. Maybe that's a reason why I kept getting stuck. No accounatbility. I feel relieved, and it almost doesn't even feel like I've been up all night, because of this. I still feel tired though. lol Thank God
- Chris
Eph 6:10-13 is a verse I actually just memorized on May 13 for bible (which I had to write May 13th as well. I procrastinated :)
here it is from memory, which should be very accurate after repeating so many times yesterday
"be strong in the Lord and his mighty power. Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the ruler, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after everything has been done, to stand"
This verse was perfect for what I went though in my time in the desert.(the event above.)
It made the Afterparty, so much more enjoyable, knowing that with God I had taken a Giant leap toward being Free! It was great! One of the best days of the year. I hope this was the end of it, the end of my biggest obstacle in my life so far. I hate what I did, but it's done, I can't change it, I have to move on, otherwise I could fall back to where I was.
Why am I writing this? Actually I don't feel comfortable writing this, but I think by finally telling someone, I can get over it, it's a step toward freedom, telling someone can relieve a lot from the soul. I feel it's right. and I feel like I did yesterday after I destoryed it, just by writing this. Plus what chance do I have when I'm the only one that knows this is a huge problem in my life (my parents know a little but I don't think they realize how bad it really is). So basically No One knows it's as bad as I'm writing here. Maybe that's a reason why I kept getting stuck. No accounatbility. I feel relieved, and it almost doesn't even feel like I've been up all night, because of this. I still feel tired though. lol Thank God
- Chris
13 May 2011
Crazy day, and various pictures
It always seems that the day before a friday the thirteenth is a bit crazy, and this one was no exception. Blogger was in read only mode for awhile, but it's fixed now. Don't forget the fact that yesterday (May 12) it was 90 degrees outside in Westerville OH. It was a fantastic day, as well as the two days before. Today it's also quite nice out, nice and sunny.
Three days before yesterday, I heard the first hummingbird (their calls are very unique).
After and yesterday I finally got one...
...in a picture of course.
Their heartbeats resemble whirling air. When I went to lake hope one year (lake hope was Ohio's first state park) it's in the middle of no where, surrounded by woods everywhere. A great place to go to when you want to leave the city behind. The lodge there was the main attraction until it burned down, one downside of being in the middle of nowhere. Now I think the biggest thing is the nature lodge. I like it for the fact it has hummingbird feeders everywhere (like 4-6 of them), and there's quite a bit of hummingbirds. Also at select times they fill these vials with sugarwater, give them to you, and it's time to do the statue! (just came up with that, it's not actually called that, but it should be.) The point of this, is to stand still so that the hummingbirds will come and drink out of the vials that you are holding. But that's was just the beginning of a great day I had there one year. It just so happened a hummingbird tagger was at lake hope to tag the hummingbirds. It was the first time one had come to lake hope. After capturing/tagging them he let us get close and even held the hummingbird up to our ear, so that we could hear the heartbeat. It was cool (it was much better then that, but no words can accurately describe how much I loved this experience). Also at one point, he pointed out the fact that one of the hummingbirds he held was actually a female, who, you may have guessed it, was ready to lay her eggs. Also the nature lodge has antlions around it's walls. Ever since this experience we've had a hummingbird feeder.
I first came across this flower last year, but at first I didn't think much of it. Until it produced it's fruit, which I had never seen before. I'll get a picture as soon as the fruit comes out.
I came across a ant colony, which explains why the log next to it, has been dissappearing on one side. The ant's basically placed dirt nuggets on the end of it. If I was younger I would've basically dug into it, hopefully searching for the queen, but now... no... I don't think it's right even though some people would argue it's just an insect. It's not hurting anyone's property so it's not right, but that's my opinion.
An ant that was struggling with this dying beatle. The last I saw, it left it there.
a portrait of me. I think I erased the area around the right eye too many times, hence the strange appearence of it. I only drew the head, and top of the shoulders because I can't draw the folds in clothing very well, as well as the arms/legs. I seem to do well with the eyes/nose if given enough time, the lips usually take the time I need to do both the eyes, and nose combined. This took at least two hours, plus some touching up. I kept trying to fix the right eye, so it kinda got dark, and looked strange after awhile, I think this was caused by my pencil started to go through some of the paper, which is supported by the fact on the back I can see the right eye. Kinda like it's engraved. Maybe I should try to redo it.
as a side note I'm going to an afterparty (the party after our school's junior-senior banquet, which I am NOT going to). Personally I don't like social gatherings, and I'm guessing I wouldn't normally go to the afterparty, except for the fact it's at the community center of the church I go to (Vineyard Columbus).
I never really liked social gatherings too much. More of a loner if you will, and I don't tend to share too much personally with those I don't trust. It's just how I am. So I'll be there from 11:00 PM to 7:00 AM. I'm not planning to go to sleep
Also my portrait made me realize that I desperately need a haircut, which I'll be getting before I go. I plan to dominate the air hockey table. I'm pretty good at it in my opinion. I've been dying to try something out. (air hockey and L @ hide and seeks hills, can they be compared? most likely no. Just ask most people who play at hide and seek hills.
Three days before yesterday, I heard the first hummingbird (their calls are very unique).
After and yesterday I finally got one...
...in a picture of course.
Their heartbeats resemble whirling air. When I went to lake hope one year (lake hope was Ohio's first state park) it's in the middle of no where, surrounded by woods everywhere. A great place to go to when you want to leave the city behind. The lodge there was the main attraction until it burned down, one downside of being in the middle of nowhere. Now I think the biggest thing is the nature lodge. I like it for the fact it has hummingbird feeders everywhere (like 4-6 of them), and there's quite a bit of hummingbirds. Also at select times they fill these vials with sugarwater, give them to you, and it's time to do the statue! (just came up with that, it's not actually called that, but it should be.) The point of this, is to stand still so that the hummingbirds will come and drink out of the vials that you are holding. But that's was just the beginning of a great day I had there one year. It just so happened a hummingbird tagger was at lake hope to tag the hummingbirds. It was the first time one had come to lake hope. After capturing/tagging them he let us get close and even held the hummingbird up to our ear, so that we could hear the heartbeat. It was cool (it was much better then that, but no words can accurately describe how much I loved this experience). Also at one point, he pointed out the fact that one of the hummingbirds he held was actually a female, who, you may have guessed it, was ready to lay her eggs. Also the nature lodge has antlions around it's walls. Ever since this experience we've had a hummingbird feeder.
I first came across this flower last year, but at first I didn't think much of it. Until it produced it's fruit, which I had never seen before. I'll get a picture as soon as the fruit comes out.
I came across a ant colony, which explains why the log next to it, has been dissappearing on one side. The ant's basically placed dirt nuggets on the end of it. If I was younger I would've basically dug into it, hopefully searching for the queen, but now... no... I don't think it's right even though some people would argue it's just an insect. It's not hurting anyone's property so it's not right, but that's my opinion.
An ant that was struggling with this dying beatle. The last I saw, it left it there.
a portrait of me. I think I erased the area around the right eye too many times, hence the strange appearence of it. I only drew the head, and top of the shoulders because I can't draw the folds in clothing very well, as well as the arms/legs. I seem to do well with the eyes/nose if given enough time, the lips usually take the time I need to do both the eyes, and nose combined. This took at least two hours, plus some touching up. I kept trying to fix the right eye, so it kinda got dark, and looked strange after awhile, I think this was caused by my pencil started to go through some of the paper, which is supported by the fact on the back I can see the right eye. Kinda like it's engraved. Maybe I should try to redo it.
as a side note I'm going to an afterparty (the party after our school's junior-senior banquet, which I am NOT going to). Personally I don't like social gatherings, and I'm guessing I wouldn't normally go to the afterparty, except for the fact it's at the community center of the church I go to (Vineyard Columbus).
I never really liked social gatherings too much. More of a loner if you will, and I don't tend to share too much personally with those I don't trust. It's just how I am. So I'll be there from 11:00 PM to 7:00 AM. I'm not planning to go to sleep
Also my portrait made me realize that I desperately need a haircut, which I'll be getting before I go. I plan to dominate the air hockey table. I'm pretty good at it in my opinion. I've been dying to try something out. (air hockey and L @ hide and seeks hills, can they be compared? most likely no. Just ask most people who play at hide and seek hills.
10 May 2011
ivys, spiders, and art
Would you like to touch this plant?
Well I sure wouldn't. Why you may ask... But I for one don't particularly want to be touching poisen ivy. Poisen ivy can grow as a vine, a climbing vine, or even as a bush! Poison ivy flowers around May or June. After flowering it produces berries. It also has two cousins: poison oak with 5 leaves, and poison sumac with 7 leaves.
This is a wolf spider. You may guess from it's name it's an agile, and quick spider. These assumptions prove to be true. At this time of the year, they are the most common spider, and largest. This won't continue for very long, only until the web spinning spiders are able to catch up in size.
This is a lego guy I drew less then 9 weeks ago. It looked nice, except for the torso, which is a little disproportional.
as a side note May 15 is when a *special edition* of overkill the beginning is planned. I could in all likelyhood release it before, but it's because of may 15. see if you can guess why. Here's some hints.
1. it involves the color purple
2. it's specific to that date
3. it involves a disease I "had".
also the first week of october is mental illness awareness week. Of the ones I'm quite "familiar" with include bi polar, and adhd. To me bi polar is far more troublesome than adhd is. The colors for bi-polar are white/black. These colors symbolize the mania state and the depressive state. These states are basically opposites. The both have their downsides. Even though being happy is a good thing, it's also bad whether you know it or not. Your judgement will suffer plus you're full of yourself in the mania state (up state). I'm guessing it's kinda like being high, but since I've never been high (nor do I want to) I wouldn't know. I myself get treated for adhd with Vyvanse. It's kinda strange that they treat adhd with a stimulent. Isn't strange that, that works for people with adhd :P.
Well I sure wouldn't. Why you may ask... But I for one don't particularly want to be touching poisen ivy. Poisen ivy can grow as a vine, a climbing vine, or even as a bush! Poison ivy flowers around May or June. After flowering it produces berries. It also has two cousins: poison oak with 5 leaves, and poison sumac with 7 leaves.
This is a wolf spider. You may guess from it's name it's an agile, and quick spider. These assumptions prove to be true. At this time of the year, they are the most common spider, and largest. This won't continue for very long, only until the web spinning spiders are able to catch up in size.
This is a lego guy I drew less then 9 weeks ago. It looked nice, except for the torso, which is a little disproportional.
as a side note May 15 is when a *special edition* of overkill the beginning is planned. I could in all likelyhood release it before, but it's because of may 15. see if you can guess why. Here's some hints.
1. it involves the color purple
2. it's specific to that date
3. it involves a disease I "had".
also the first week of october is mental illness awareness week. Of the ones I'm quite "familiar" with include bi polar, and adhd. To me bi polar is far more troublesome than adhd is. The colors for bi-polar are white/black. These colors symbolize the mania state and the depressive state. These states are basically opposites. The both have their downsides. Even though being happy is a good thing, it's also bad whether you know it or not. Your judgement will suffer plus you're full of yourself in the mania state (up state). I'm guessing it's kinda like being high, but since I've never been high (nor do I want to) I wouldn't know. I myself get treated for adhd with Vyvanse. It's kinda strange that they treat adhd with a stimulent. Isn't strange that, that works for people with adhd :P.
09 May 2011
Mother's day, and the feather
Since this was my mother's first mothers day without her mother, it was difficult to her to say the least. So I put something together for her to help her out. First I went outside gathered flowers, and put them together in a vase. That was the easy part of this. The second one is two plates filled with flower heads, mainly violets, and some orange flowers, that looked nice (I have no idea what they are though). This was a great use of a couple hours, I mean who can argue that putting a smile on your mother's face isn't worth that. This was so much better then any card. Today she apparently called a donut a "Glorious donut" or something like that. She's happy, and that alone is enough for me. What's better then helping your parents, especially your own mother, when she's having a tough time.
This next object is a mosaic I made at around the end of the school year last year (around June 2010). I think you can guess what it is. It was the last piece of art I made that my grandma made. I remember the last words she said to me as well (summer 2010). "oh, you're such a dear". She was giving me a hug at the time, and then walked out. a week later she was gone. my mom offered to take me to see her in the hospital, but I said I could go tomorrow. How wrong I was, for she was gone when I woke up. I realized a few weeks later that if I had gone, in all likelyhood my mom wouldn't have gotten to stay with her mother as long as she did, for if I had been there we would have left hours earlier. I take comfort in the fact that she got to see her mother, and I don't mind. Would I have liked to see her? of course I would have! I loved her. When I think of how I should act I think of her. She was a great role model. But I realize it was/is more important for my mom to get to see her, then for me, I'm happier knowing that.
Sadly this feather, is all that remains of a fight. A fight in which a pigeon lost. A cat was able to get a pigeon eating birdseed. my dad tried to chase it away. It worked temporarily. But the bird being injured, only made it off of our poarch before the cat got it around the neck. My dad tried to chase the cat, in the hopes it would drop the bird. The cat, with the pigeon in it's mouth, took off. The cat got away, with the bird, it's safe to assume the bird didn't get away.
poor bird.
This next object is a mosaic I made at around the end of the school year last year (around June 2010). I think you can guess what it is. It was the last piece of art I made that my grandma made. I remember the last words she said to me as well (summer 2010). "oh, you're such a dear". She was giving me a hug at the time, and then walked out. a week later she was gone. my mom offered to take me to see her in the hospital, but I said I could go tomorrow. How wrong I was, for she was gone when I woke up. I realized a few weeks later that if I had gone, in all likelyhood my mom wouldn't have gotten to stay with her mother as long as she did, for if I had been there we would have left hours earlier. I take comfort in the fact that she got to see her mother, and I don't mind. Would I have liked to see her? of course I would have! I loved her. When I think of how I should act I think of her. She was a great role model. But I realize it was/is more important for my mom to get to see her, then for me, I'm happier knowing that.
Sadly this feather, is all that remains of a fight. A fight in which a pigeon lost. A cat was able to get a pigeon eating birdseed. my dad tried to chase it away. It worked temporarily. But the bird being injured, only made it off of our poarch before the cat got it around the neck. My dad tried to chase the cat, in the hopes it would drop the bird. The cat, with the pigeon in it's mouth, took off. The cat got away, with the bird, it's safe to assume the bird didn't get away.
poor bird.
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