bzflag

I was informed yesterday, that it appears that 3.0 is abandoned, but the devs are now working on another version (2.4 I believe) I looked at sourceforge, and the devs are on a roll.

come to speak of bzflag, it just seemed dull the last two days...

6 days now... I can't let my gaurd down. he's waiting, he wants me to fall in again. I won the battle, but the war's just begun. I Can't lose... not now.

I was trapped with no end in sight
it had me in it's grasp
with no hope to fight it.
for I was in my weakest place
and beginning to be overwhelmed
and this was something that I would not face
and so I gave it up to God
and soon I made it through
filled with him I knew what to do
I went after It's symbol
For an hour I was being torn inside
I thank the Lord, that he got me through
For I was able to accomplish my goal
The symbol is now gone.
Destroyed in the place where I was weakest
It will never be the same.
But I still have a long way to go

I feel a change long overdue, I feel much different then I did. I'm on fire. There comes a time when we all are faced with a situation like mine, and we have to choose between God, and him. I chose God, and did not falter. Hope, is what I have once again.

But my biggest fear is that some may not forgive me for what I've done, which is why I'm very reluctant to share what I did, or the fact I did something at all. Plus, I'm not friends with many people, not closely at least. (less then 5). And the only one I would completely trust I haven't seen in over 7 years! Because of my lack of friends I don't want to lose them, or be judged... But nothing was worse then the guilt, and shame I have towards myself. It doesn't help when you kept thinking about your struggle with this constantly for over a year. It's gradually worn me down. It's why I'm so energetic, and happy now.

Cheers, Chris